Stop, Collaborate, and Listen — We Are Not Competition.
I’m sitting here with my head in my hands feeling an overwhelming sense of impending defeat combined with a bit of disbelief and inability to see how many others can’t see what I see. How did we get to this point and why is this happening?
While advocating for World Peace these days seems like a lost cause set up for wasted energy and a huge target for disregarding eye rolls — encouraging harmony — or at the very least — neutrality — within the small business community seems easy enough to attain — at least one would think, right?
Call me crazy — but I’d love to see everyone happy and succeeding — and more so — I’d love to be an ally in others’ successes however possible. I came to the understanding a long time ago that the world is full of different opinions, different goals, different perspectives, and therefore that poses a challenge to getting along all of the time — and I suppose that has to be fine for now. But, I’m still having a hard time comprehending how people with the same opinions, goals, and perspectives are also considered opponents — maybe even more so than the aforementioned.
I get it, I know competition is embedded in human nature. From a young age we are conditioned to compete for the attention of our parents and friends. Then in school, there’s competition for popularity — and in sports we are taught to be fierce competitors against our “rivals”. Even within the same team, competition exists to be a starter or the star player. As we grow older, competition persists in the form of the college application process or competing for jobs and promotions — where supposed “colleagues” are forced into an dog-eat-dog arena to fight for a “win” or an award or a pay raise.
Don’t get me wrong here, I do understand the value of healthy competition. I don’t believe everyone deserves a big trophy — and just showing up to play doesn’t deserve the same recognition as the team that played better that day. Having played softball through college, of course I didn’t lob fastballs down the middle so everyone could get a hit. I actually attribute much of my work ethic and entrepreneurial spirit to playing “competitive” sports growing up. The feeling of a loss motivated me to work harder — but more than the mindset of training to dominate others— the realization of bettering myself and the fact that I couldn’t win without others was at the forefront for me. In team sports, you don’t win as an individual and even in individual sports you don’t win without a coach, without a trainer, or even the person you’re playing against — it’s in fact never just an individual effort. And when losses occur — because they will — appreciation and admiration of your opponent should be granted — because without them, your desire to better yourself for next time would probably not exist, therefore how without them will you ever be the best you can be?
All that being said, talking about competition in the realm of sports is not why my head is currently in my hands. While sports analogies are often translated into the world of business — the only analogy that is resonating with my current state of mind in terms of business — is that of Tonya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan. For those who weren’t around in 1994 — Tonya Harding, an Olympic figure skater, was found guilty of orchestrating a physical attack on fellow USA teammate, Nancy Kerrigan, before competition. Just bringing that event up right now has me in an empathetic state of physical pain.
This is an extreme example perhaps, but it is a real one, and it speaks to the saddening fact that people are willing to do anything when in a position of fear. And if we are talking cause and effect — a physical attack really isn’t much different, in terms of energetic influence, than a verbal attack, a written attack, or even a private thought that is never shared attack while wishing misfortune upon another.
I can only speak from my own experiences deep within the local small business scene here in Houston — as a freelance marketer for small businesses and owner of several local vendor market events — I am very entangled in the inter-workings of local businesses and new business development. It’s important to note here, I’m not speaking of everybody as I have many great collaboration partners— but I have been witness of and have experienced personal attacks more than enough — causing me to take the time to express my disheartening state.
Here lately, it seems I can’t get through a full week without being the subject of an attack, threat, ill wish, or hearing stories of other small businesses fighting against one another in various ways. Wouldn’t you think that if what you’re doing, as a business owner, is similar to that of another business owner — that that should be a beautiful thing and not a threatening one? This means that someone believes in the same mission as you, someone has a similar passion as you, someone is courageous enough to go after their dreams — just like you. This like-minded person, group, or entity should be someone you resonate with — not impede, reject, or go up against. If you don’t like them, does that mean then that you don’t like yourself? Just a bit of an audacious thought right there…
I understand you worked hard for what you have — I can even empathize with the fear for your livelihood at the initial thought of new competition entering. I do however believe there’s a better way to go about this here — that doesn’t involve feeling or even instilling fear. Once you perceive the fact that this fear you feel of others is only anxiety of the future — that hasn’t yet happened by the way — and most likely includes traces of doubt in yourself and your own business concept surviving — you’ll realize that maybe the negative thoughts or feelings towards said “competition” has nothing to do with them and everything to do with you. I can almost guarantee that one does not passionately pursue a new business venture with the primary motivating thought being, “I am doing this — so insert other similar business owner — fails miserably.” If indeed that does exist, I can absolutely guarantee who fails miserably in that case — and I don’t think I need to elaborate on that…
I believe that a business concept built on a solid foundation of serving the greater good, one that is ignited by passion of purpose — and as long as that same mission is consistently persistent— then the thought of threatening competition is non-existent. If you still don’t agree with me — maybe, just maybe — you should look at why you’re feeling threatened. Ask yourself, “What can I do to improve in my own business to continue hitting my own goals?” You should not hinder your “competition” you should thank them for forcing you to look at how you can become better and build your own business of integrity followed by endurance.
And here — let me propose an even crazier idea to you self-inflicting martyrs. Instead of condemning the competition and wishing for their failure in hopes to maintain your own success — try changing your perspective from competition to collaboration. There are always ways to work together within a community — promote each other, build each other up, hope the best for each other — and then watch the inevitable magic that follows.
It boggles my mind that in a city of over 4 million consumers that there isn’t room for every hard working entrepreneur to live out their passion. Houston is a Field of Dreams — if you build it, they will come — almost for certain. But to keep them coming you have to be a positive piece in the community that you serve — because they are the ones serving you too — and your community includes other businesses similar to yours — by the way. 🤔
If you’re spending so much time worrying about and expending any amount of resources in attacking other members of your community — that misplaced energy is only working towards your own inevitable failure. That statement is not just my expressive opinion — that my friends — is quantum mechanics and the laws of the universe.
So I’ll leave you with this — while I’d like to sit here and believe in the possibility of my “woke rainbow unicorn world” — where the only competition is who can help others the most, and a place where complete community synergy exists — I understand there will always be some hibernating folks among us. That being said, as I finally raise my head from my hands, I am able to say that — that is okay — and whether or not, negative and combative is how they stay, I will send my most positive thoughts and well wishes their way.
Ranting aside, I am incredibly grateful for those who I get to work along side, collaborate, and make magic happen with as well as the generous community support that is clearly evident at each and every event. See the magic for yourself at our community collaborative events in Houston…
